WI +2.2lbs

I have been op for two days since WI. I gained 2.2lbs this week, but my attitude is where it needs to be and I didn't let it get me down. I can control what I put in my mouth and if my emotion is influenced by what I eat then I can control that by being in control. I even went swimming today and earned 4aps.

What a zoo in the pool tonight. I thought that it would be better to go tonight when there is no aquasize class going on and that there would be lane dividers put in. Ok apparently I am from a different planet though. There were two people in the pool during the designated lap swim time occupying an entire lane doing their aquasize stuff. Well congrats to them for getting out and getting active, but there was really no room for them in the pool with all the other people trying to do lap swim. On top of that there were no lane dividers, ugh. I think I am just going to go back to swimming MWF when I only have to risk being drowned my the aquasize wake and not bumping into other swimmers.

Have a good night!

In control

I have been op for 4 days in a row. I even got out and exercised twice this week. I am feeling really good. I know a lot of my struggles lately have to do with the messages I tell myself. Like when I eat a little too much on one day, don't track it, and then tell myself "Well you already messed up so what is the point for the rest of the week". Very negative. I have decided to change this though because I need to believe I can do it before I will be successful. I was feeling really gross about my body yesterday, but then I decided that I would get out for a walk and I was feeling pretty damn good. Today I am a little sore because I haven't been exercising regularly enough, but I have made it my goal to build up to 3-4 times per week.

I am so close to being done school I can't hardly stand it. I have a few assignments that I have to get done ASAP! For some reason I keep procrastinating them though and the work isn't diminishing by any account. I have three self- evaluations to complete, a bunch of reading, three discussion postings, one big group project, my proposal for senior practicum, and I'm sure there will be much more to come in the final three weeks. Hopefully, I will get my discussion postings done today and maybe a little bit of reading. It feels very overwhelming to think about all that needs to get done, but the more I push through the closer I am to the end.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend!

Taking the bull by the horns

I can lose the last of my weight, and I will. I went for my first outdoor run of the year, but then the weather has been yucky since then. Maybe if I bundle up good today I will get a walk in. This morning I decided to check out the basics of the WW plan again just to make sure I was getting portion sizes correct. Good thing I did this because I was counting 1c. of fruit as 1 serving and it's actually 2 servings! I have been OP for three days now. I will continue to make my menu so there is food in the house because I am sure the grocery stores are going to be closed for a day or two here this Easter weekend. I think I am going to go get the cleaning ladies some nice flowers or something for easter. Or maybe I should try my hand at hot crossed buns, mmmm. Maybe that's not a good idea because then I would have to make lots so there were some left over and then I would need to eat them because we can't waste food! Oh the crappy logic that helps make us fat.

I phoned about my apartment again. I really wish these people would answer the phone, or at least have the courtesy to phone me back. I wonder if it would be rude to just phone the realty agency that this building is listed with and deal with them instead or is that rude? I need a place to live. Dbf will be living with me too because the apartment building that he was promised had an apartment available in the new town he will be working in doesn't have any availabilities. That is going to suck for him because the commute will be over an hour each way! I think he has to give up his vehicle for something more economical on fuel. Maybe he could have my Civic and I'll take his Jeep! What a score for me :)

Have a good one!

The search continues...

I had a great day today. I picked up my dress, and found some cute shoes to go with it. I went and picked up my identification at the hospital I will complete final practicm at and had a tour of the ER. The one lady that toured me around was super cute, she was so bubbly and really made me feel welcome. The other staff was also friendly.

The apartment forefront was not very promising earlier this afternoon, but then I picked up my brother. He helped me a lot, we drove around just looking for apartments and I have found a few that we are going to tour tomorrow. I have also decided to increase the amount of money I will spend for rent. I feel that it is more important to decrease the amount of time I spend traveling to work than it is to find a cheaper apartment because i would have used up the difference in rent putting gas in my car.

I really miss my boyfriend, I will see him on Friday though. Tomorrow I will find an apartment and then to hit the long road again. Every time I come to the city now I know I am getting closer to not having to make the trip again. At least dbf will be living with me for a couple weeks in May when he does his thing here before going to his new job closer to me!

Have a good night!

The barn door is open

Well after wasting 5 hours and 15 minutes of my time driving down the long boring highway I am once again in the city. Ok so I sped to the city, not just a little either, mostly 130 the whole way except when my foot was heavy and I was going 145+ :) It's all good, the only thing I could manage to hit would be...the ditch? It's not like anyone else travels this abyss of a highway. Though, today there was a high number of Gardwine trucks on the road.

This morning before I left we accomplished another interview for our group project. I have to say that I am impressed with the honest, open, and very personal responses we are getting from our key informants. However, apparently after veeting my legs in a rush, and attempting to dress myself to get ready to go to this interview I missed a critical component of preparedness to enter the outside world. Ok, so that was a lot of build up for nothing. I went to the interview and stood talking to my friend in the parking lot at the hospital (a busy area) for a while and then stopped and filled my car with gas halfway through my trip (because you can't make it on one tank of gas, no matter how economical your vehicle is) and this is when I had my AHA moment that I had been carrying about all these tasks with my fly open. Freakin' classy, lol.

I also thought that I had avoided the temptations of lasagne by making it this morning and leaving it for dbf, but my aunt wants to have a lasagne supper tomorrow night. Hopefully, I will get in some extra walking tomorrow going for the hospital tour, looking for apartments, and of course shoe shopping! For now it is time to get some beauty sleep. Sweet dreams.

32 days and counting

Now that I am done most of the major assignments for university I need to start looking for a new place to live in the big city. I have been dragging my feet at this, but the reality is setting in and I need to secure an apartment ASAP! I knew there would be challenges to this, but well I thought it would be a little easier to be honest. The first place I phoned said the only apartments they had available for April 1st was a mini-bachelor, what is this? I would imagine it's like an apartment the size of a shoe closet where you sit on your bed and dip your feet in the toilet, not exactly what I am after. So after looking a little bit more on the internet I found a few more places. The one that I would really really like to get into (because I know they are decent apartments I have had friends that rented in this building) is a bit of a drive to the hospital I will be at, but it has a dishwasher and washer/dryer in the apartment!!! What more could a girl ask for? I need to phone this building first thing tomorrow morning to see what they have for me.

I was finally able to secure a visit to the hospital I am completing my senior practicum at, which I'm stoked about. The nursing placement lady was funny because she tried to get me all excited about going on a trip to Tim Horton's at the facility, good thing I know it's a little bit of a jaunt to get there from the ER, so it should safely reduce the temptation! It is rather funny though to watch at the local ER all the people who bring a Timmy's coffee for the long to wait to see the doctor at 4am, I thought they were having an "emergency" how did they have time to stop there first? hehe

I am also going to pick up my dress on Wednesday for grad! I need to find some cute shoes to go with my dress while I am in the city. Hopefully there are some cute summer heels out to choose from. I looked online, but I am worried that there won't be enough time to ship them. Only 32 more days left of the class room portion of university, but who is counting? I am pumped to be so close to the end!

Have a great day!

Can I get more hours in the day?

I work tonight, and I have some serious homework to do tonight. I have started working on some of the postings I have to complete, i have to establish my argument for the debate we have on Friday, I have a paper to write for next Friday, the one group I am in is getting together to do the windshield survey, and then the other group I am in has to get together to get our presentation together for Monday! Let's not forget that I have to finish moving the remainder of the contents out of my old apartment and clean it up for this Friday. So much to do, so little time. At least I have a plan for supper tonight. Maybe I should go and empty out that apartment before I go to work tonight, or maybe I can lure my coworker into coming to help me hehehe

Have a lovely day!

NSV

Today while at the grocery store I politely pointed out that the cashier put the zucchini through as cucumbers, which they are not, and the zucchini were cheaper. The cashier pretty well treated me like I had grown a third eyeball for pointing this out and put on a big performance. Which made me upset because the cashier was wrong not me. On the way home the traffic was ridiculous too, which did nothing to perk me up and while I was waiting at the last stop light I had decided that I was going to make myself feel better by having pepsi when I got home. Good thing I had a couple blocks to drive before I got home because I was able to rationalize with myself that pepsi wasn't going to make me feel better. Thus my NSV.

But then I started thinking, I wanted to eat because I was angry but what caused me to get angry? I need to deal with the source of the emotion, not eat my way through it. This may sound cliche, but I realized that I can't let others actions and opinions of me have that type of value in my life. I need to appreciate myself and continue to work at my self-esteem. I have been noticing that I have been letting some of my old self conscious behaviors creep into my life. It's not an enjoyable way to go about life. I am the one that can change this and I will.

That's all I have to ramble about today, have a good one!

I'm back and +0.4lbs

Today was WI, and I was up +0.4lbs. Thank you goddess of the scale. I have been eating enough to suffice an elephant for the past few days. We had some chinese food on Saturday night, Tim's on Friday night, hot dogs Saturday at lunch, and that's not all. We can't forget the macaroons, pepsi, chips, and other wonderful goodies at my brother's that I honed in on like a B52 bomber looking for a target.

Exciting news! My shopping trip to Winnipeg was successful. I am the proud owner of this dress that I make look absolutely stunning. It's a one piece halter style chocolate brown with gold embroidery at the waist that goes up and down like a vine with some beading and then a skinny flat bow going threw the middle. I can't find a picture anywhere on the internet to link to it and I don't know who the name of the designer is on the dress, but I look stunning in it. The girl at the dress shop was super sweet too and really helped out a lot. In fact she got them their sale because I was ready to walk out of the store, frustrated at not finding anything again, before she approached my Mom and I to encourage me to take my time and look a little slower. I have already recommended her to friends and family that are looking for dresses for their formal events. I'm so excited, I'm going to be such a princess!

I am almost done with the bulk of my assignments for my last semester of university. Two more weeks and then I will be doing the happy dance. I tried to go for a tour of the department I am accepted at to complete my senior practicum, but no one ever got back to me. I tried to contact them twice with no luck. Yet, today when I went to see my practicum advisor she had received a phone call from one of the ladies at the hospital wondering if I was still going to come this past Friday, what the heck?! I phoned to set up another appointment, so hopefully this one works out.

Have a great day!

To swim or not to swim

I have no idea how I sleep through the vacuuming the cleaning ladies do. That thing is like a full fledged zamboni going through the house! I sure do enjoy how clean the place is after they have been here though. I am feeling a lot better today, I think I slept for 12 hours, woke up for 6 hours and then slept another 12 hours :) I have to write my first paper over the course of today, because I am going dress shopping this weekend! I'm excited. I will probably have to just settle for something off the rack, but if I look hot in it what more could I ask for?

Last night one of our friends came over for supper again. He was asking me what kind of physical activity I do to keep in shape. Sadly, I haven't done anything for a long time now, but I used to swim and run. He was totally encouraging me to get back into swimming because he swims too. I would probably drown in the wake he would create, Mr Tour De France super athlete, but I feel a little more like getting back into going now. Maybe that will be my goal for March, because I can't see myself getting there any sooner with all the school work I have to do in the next couple of weeks.

Going sugar free update: Good, I really don't crave any of the sweet stuff when I don't feel well so I am having success!

Have a good day everyone!

One more to go

Not a whole lot is new today. I'm on my third night of four at work. I think after my last shift this month I am done working. I just don't want to go any more. I have more important things to do like spend time with dbf. I am not going to have lots of time to spend with dbf in a couple months which is sad. Oh well, he reassures me that we will still see each other as much as possible but if he isn't able to find a job closer to the city then there is still going to be six hours between us. I can't think of that though it distresses me. I never had any sugar for two days now!

I can't wait to live in an apartment that doesn't have doorbells. The kid below me must have locked him mom out again because someone was ringing the doorbell nonstop and pounding on the door below me. Well I must get ready for work.

Have a great day!

Feelin' ill

I have strep throat. I'm achy all over, tired, my head hurts and my throat is raw. I hope it goes away quickly. I am only on night two of four, so it needs to be quiet in order to get some much needed sleep. I will have to write my paper before I can get some sleep though. It's hard to believe that I am almost done this semester and ready to head off to final practicum. woohoo!

Well time to start over on my refined sugar challenge, seems how last night I had two pops and two chocolates. I don't even understand why I do that. I know I don't need that much. I don't even crave that much. I just seem to give up too easily when it comes to those things. Well today is day one, again, and I will make it this time.

Have a good day!

Moving on

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! Yesterday my parents and dbf helped me move the majority of my stuff out of my old apartment. Everyone is pretty sore because there was a lot of stairs. I still have a few things left to grab, but it should only take me an hour or so to finish everything up. Now to find a new apartment. I put in a couple applications online, but i haven't heard anything. Maybe there will be time to look at a few when I am dress shopping this weekend!

As far as the sugar free thing goes, its tough. I have been doing good so far though. There are so many temptations. Having my my meals and snacks planned out though really helps. I would really like to take a garbage bag and throw every bit of chocolate and junk food in the house out, but I realize that just because I don't want to eat that stuff doesn't mean dbf should not be able to have these things around.

In other news, I had a startling discovery when I checked my blog today...I have at least a reader! Woohoo. lol Have a great day!

Going Sugar Free

I have decided that I need to elminate simple sugars from my diet for a while. I find that I can't exercise any control over what I eat if I have something like a candy or a pepsi, it usually results in having more than one. Eventually I have over eaten that day because on top of the empty calories I need to find other foods that actually satiate me. Thus, today is the first of 58 days that I plan to not eat high simple sugar foods. So far so good. Why 58 days you may ask? Well it's simple. Graduation is on April 12 2008 and that will be the 58th day. I would really like to be in the 150's by then and this is going to get me there. I need to think of a good reward for when I get there. Maybe the doctor will prescribe a day at the spa! I think I deserve it.

This weekend I will be working and moving out of my apartment. I took one day off in between my work days so that I can get all the stuff packed up and out before March 1st. So far I have packed nothing. I haven't even gone and picked up boxes from anywhere. Maybe I will be able to wrangle my coworker to come and help me pack some stuff up tonight, hehehe.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Happy Valentines Day!!!

I am one happy girl today. Dbf sent a dozen long stem red roses to the house today! They are beautfiul and look great too. I have never had a Valentine before, so that makes this even more exciting. I hope that dbf likes the gift I got him.I think for supper we will either be having spicy spaghetti or maybe I will make a traditional chicken dinner, who knows. I will be op today, whats left of it :)

Well, I think I need to take my car to a mechanic. I had to have it boosted yesterday and today. I am reluctant to take it to the garage though because I really don't want to have to pay for any repairs :( Plus last time I was totally ripped off, grr. This is why I need my dad around, so he can deal with these crazy car problems.

Hope everyone else has a great day!

Valentine's day is coming

I am excited for Valentine's day this year because I actually have a boyfriend to celebrate with. He is sweet and caring. I bought him some chocolates and a card so far. I think I will go grab a DVD and write a note about the "Top 10 Reasons I love him". Cheesey, I know. I told him last night I have big expectations for this day, and he was like obviously panic-y hehehe Really I don't care what we do as long as its something thoughtful.

Well yesterday was only a little better points wise, and I never brought myself to calculate the amount of points used the day before. I really should because I may end up surprising myself and have a couple flex left. Plus if I am trying to be accountable to keep losing I really must do it.

I hate group work. Apparently though group work is preparing us for the real world for things known as "commitees". I'm glad the lovely ladies of the WW boards informed me of this, so I can clearly choose to avoid these things known as "commitees". Just one of lifes many growing pains.

Scary points usage

I was able to sleep in today. Very relaxing and much needed. This is going to be a very relaxing day all around. I have a hair appointment in a couple of hours, which I will walk to because I have been super lazy lately, and then my agenda is clear for the day. Well, I will have to make supper at some point but that is not a very big job and I am waiting to hear from one of my instructors for some feedback on a paper we are to submit.

Yesterday was an absolutly brutal points day, I have yet to track all the points. I am guessing I have no flex left, but only the tracker knows for sure. I will not have another gain this week, so it is time to clamp down and get serious about my efforts for the week. I definatly find it easier to stay op when I'm working, or have something to look forward to getting me out of the house for a few hours. Even when there is something to do around the house. But as soon as I sit down to start my hours upon hours of homework that I have everyday it seems to be a lost cause for keeping on track. I think that I need to take more breaks while I am doing homework so that it doesn't seem as overwhelming causing me to stress, thus sending me on a crusade for the kitchen.

Dbf is being suportive of my efforts, which is sweet and I totally appreciate it. He decided that he will try to lose some weight too, so we are cutting down on the amount of junk food that comes into the house. It isn't like we crave the junk or anything we just eat it because it is there. If it's not open, it doesn't get touched, so another thing we try to do is just leave it for when we have company coming over.

Well time to egress from my toasty bed, and taking it one day at a time. I will be op today!

Owning the number

WI today: +1lb. What does this tell me? I do not have the ability to take one week off of journalling without unleashing my sweet tooth monster. However, I was accountable for my choices and recorded the number I saw when I stepped on the scale. In the past I would have decided, "oh well that can't be the real number because [insert any number of excuses here]" and taken tomorrow's number. Now for this week my plan is to drink more water and journal my points. Hopefully, this will reward me with a loss next Monday! I feel pretty gross from all the sweets I ate this past week too, so that should help to keep me on track for the week. I really want to get rid of the gross sugar build up. I have a steady headache from all the yuck I ate.

I should really start training for running the marathon. I am thinking about signing up for a learn to run clinic from running room again this year. I was really motivated last year when I signed up and it felt great to see my progress from hardly being able to run a minute to being able to run for over seven straight! Not much time left to contemplate this if I want to look at running in the June marathon, hmmm.

As a side note, I love my friends. It's great to know they are there when you need them because this school stress is killing us all. Also, we helped a friend of dbf's to get a job earlier this year and now that favor is going to be returned. Who doesn't love their friends?

Goals

In order to be successful I think I need to develop some goals. Of course I have my goal weight, it's more of a range at this point, of 125 - 134 lbs. But I need to have some short term goals to get me through. So some of the goals I thought of were:

1. Drink more water during exams
2. Establish regular exercise routine
3. Run second marathon (Dbf is going to join me this year!)
4. Get plenty of sleep

Nothing too exciting, I am going for managable. I have a tendancy to arrange elaborate goals and expectations for myself. Of course this only leads to disappointment in myself and increased stress because I feel I let myself down. I am human too, and need to learn to accept myself the way I accept others for who they are.

You are here

Everybody has to start somewhere. I started at 190 lbs on October 31, 2006 and successfully maintained a loss of 29.2lbs. It is time to reach my destination!

I have the tools to get to goal, I just have to use them. No more excuses. It is time to be accountable to myself and treat body the way it deserves to be treated.